To….or for

‘To’ or ‘for’, it is entirely up to you!

The other day, I was able to go out with my fur babies in the car with my Honey for a walk down by the river near where I live.  I had just finished a really nice meditation where I had felt as though I had fallen into a deep restful sleep although all the while knowing that I was awake the entire time.

As is often the case in meditation for me, I emerged with a single thought…I just love when this happens because it really feels as though I have pulled up my most important ‘raison d’être’ of the day and so I listen as hard as I can.

I came out of my meditation with ‘remember the TO or FOR thing’.

Let me explain.

‘To’ or ‘for’ refers to my use of language.  I have always been fascinated by words and how I use them.  I have a cousin, that when we were teenagers, challenged me to stop using the word ‘but’ and to use the word ‘and’ as it completely changes the nature of your discussions.  Rather than countering others during conversations,  it invites greater depth of understanding, on my part, to be inclusive of the thoughts of others at the same time as honouring my own ideas.

In essence, it flips your brain to switch from win/lose to win/win.

A few years ago, I read somewhere a similar idea.  The premise is essentially…what if you thought that life is not happening to you but happening for you?  You see…changing that dialogue (both internal and external) means that you understand that all the things that occur in your life are lessons for you to gain from.

This is a very different mindset when confronting adversity.  Did I get this challenging student to punish and annoy me?  Or did this student come into my life for me to gain insight and understanding of myself? Did this person just get upset with me to make me feel bad or is there something I need to do differently?

If I am to believe, as I firmly do, that all the things that happen in my life are my lessons to learn from, then this CSF Leak is happening for me too.  And I have lots of evidence to back that up.

This CSF Leak has taught me so many things and the list just keeps growing and growing.  Here are just a few of them:

Through my illness I have learned that I am creative and resourceful. This has taught me to be patient and calm during the stormiest days and nights (breathing really helps too!).  I have seen the positive results when I use kindness whenever I can.  I have learned to speak up for myself when I am ready and able, and to hold my tongue when my emotions are too raw.  I have been able to advocate for myself and that makes me feel stronger than when I allow decisions to be made without my input.  I am smart enough to read medical journals…who knew?! I have searched deep within myself and I still like what I see there.  I know, in my heart of hearts, that it is much better for me to be of service to others, even when I could not imagine there being any possible way of doing that.

There truly is an endless list of things I have gained from having this devastating illness.  It is no sunshine and roses over here at ‘Chez Ingrid’ every day and I am carefully navigating that reality too.  The importance for me is to acknowledge the pain and turmoil and to embrace, with everything I have in me, the goodness, the lessons, and the possibilities for growth and understanding.

My lessons happen for me….I can guarantee that!

What SOMETHING WONDERFUL is out there waiting for you, today?

Love Ingrid x

#loveiseverywhere   #leakweek     #csfleak     #choosekindness

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